It's like I don't want to live anymore.
My heart is broken and I don't know how to put it back together.
Mom was supposed to teach me how to do that when and IF I was ever to be with someone.
I don't really know where to go from here...
I'm sitting in the library, drinking a coffee and hiding behind my outlet of a blog.
I'm not suicidal, but I'm in danger of disappearing completely and I'm curious if anyone actually cares. I know that quite a few people who claim to care about me could really give a shit, but that's just life, you know?
If you aren't a specific way, no one could be bothered to consider you more than what you already are to them- a physical storage system for their memories or thoughts of you. You aren't anything else, basically just a walking flashdrive for other people. That's what I've become and I don't want to hold onto all of this anymore.
Have a great Monday. I know that I am.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteYou know that isn't true. Look around you. You have so many people that love you and it would break their hearts if you died or disappeared. Nor would your mom ever want it that way. You need to live not only for her, but for yourself. You have so much going for you that you need to hold your head high and live with pride and happiness.
Also, I'll be behind you every step of the way. You know this. And if you don't, hear me out now.
Love you.