Found my transporation these days: I'm Rollarcoastering to Boone.

Since about 3 weeks after summer started I've been depressed, I've been estatic, I've been way Up and I've been way down. Nowadays, I feel like I have no handle on my emotions. Some days I can't get up from the hatred of being at home and of my lacking schedule and I refuse to talk to anyone or do anything. Other days, I'm a bundle of energy raring to get out and go do something or invite half the neighborhood to hang out with me. I think my hormones are out of balence, obviously and I'm not entirely sure as to what to do about it.

So with Mom suggesting I don't come home for the summer next year and anti-depressants (yeah it got That Bad) and my friend having to break into my house thinking I was held up in my room, Summer hasn't been all that great. That is of course except my birthday party, the week that followed that and what I'm looking for to in a week (my BEST friend is coming from CA and then she and I are going Back to CA).

I'm honest to god, at a loss of words right now. I'm trying to think of what to say but I got nothin.

It's 2AM and Rachel Ray is on a re-run. She kind of annoys me. I'm surfing pictures on Facebook. It's now 2:15.

Alright I'm gonna think of facts to list because only maybes are swimming in my head.

1. I ramble.

2. My sleep schedule is fucked.

3. I have a crush on a guy named Mike.

4. I didn't expect it to happen.

5. Yet, Us together seems like a joke.

6. I hate being bored.

7. Procrastinating is my worst habit.

8. My dream is to be well-known, eventually.

9. I love my friends, but I hate people.

10. Rachel Ray is obnoxious.

11. I've craved popcorn for 4 days now.

12. Boone is calling me.

13. It refuses to leave a message.

14. I love tye dye shirts, husky malamutes and the smell of Bojangles french fries.

15. Legos are my favorite pastime. HANDS DOWN.

16. I'm a romantic more than you would ever know.

17. I've never skydived.

18. But I want to.

19. I miss the Pacific ocean.

20. I'm done with how I've been treating myself and the ones around me.

Alright. Those are all definites.

I need to kick it into gear because I officially have a month and a week until I go back to school (which is coming slow enough) and I need to finish things, start things and get myself back into working order. I think I've gained about 15 pounds since coming home so yeah, That needs to change. Also, my plan was to get my liscense. I also have to study and finish all my APO stuff.

Ugh, soooo much. BUT, I feel like I can do it. I feel like I'm gonna Have to get myself to do it.

I have to kick this fucking depression to the curb. I HAVE to. If I want to save my insane self, I NEED to. I don't have a choice.

Alright, it's 2:39AM, I need to get some sleep. Happy Saturday :)