Just a Writing sort of mood.

It's a little past 5 a.m. and I am just about wide awake. I occaisonally lean my head forward and forget that I fall asleep. But it happens.

Anyway, so my day has been interesting. To say the least... Football tailgate, Game that was fun and exciting but ended up depressing, then laundry, a couple of far-out movies, Tagging the hallway with meaningful quotes, conversing, and then Apples-to-Apples... Again, an interesting night.

Anyway, so I thought this one person has originally showed an interest in me, (a BIG interest Might I Add) and I had in him. Now, after the Shit that had happened, has happened, been talked through so many times I am sick of my own story, and Everything is upside down, I have the want to move away and change my face, status, and what it is that makes me the type of person I never want to be. Unoriginal. So if it takes me the rest of my life to find that one person who accepts and loves me for being who I am, well Dammit, my life will be hell. Utter and Complete Hell.

So really What Is supposed to happen when someone says I Love you? You hope. You hope and pray that that person isn't A) screwing with you, B) totally bullshitting you or C) lying to you. I know all of the tricks in the books. I mean after a lifetime of shit like that, you tend to see the starting points people use and you pick up on it. Many of those things, I have gained.

But sometimes, there will be that One Person you trusted a LITTLE and all of those things are no longer nessacary. And really the only thing I want to say is goodnight. Because it's not even worth it anymore. So why dwell? I see no reason. Even if it leads to me typing at 5:30am...

Oh and for all of those people who read this, Please go and listen to a Beatles song and get back to me... I may go down the same... But who really knows at this point. So Fuck him, Fuck the future guys and the Past guys who I don't want to talk about anyway.

I l0ve you all. Be safe.