Perspective.

Shampoo. 

Name brand shampoo. Expensive Neutrogena face wash. 

That's just the beginning of the innate jealousy. 

Demands pizza, grabs credit card from mom. 

Won't stop dropping hints about giraffe onesie for Christmas. Is almost mean about it, but is actually getting one. 

Maybe it's 15 but seriously, she makes my heart hurt. 

Austin Mahone concert tickets, Netflix just for her, Starbucks more frequently than I've ever gone. 

I never ever had it quite that good. 

I was never allowed brand name products. I never bought makeup. My Christmas presents felt deserved because I worked hard to make something for every person in my family at Christmas. I still do. 

Chloe has become so privileged and so full of ungratefulness that it almost makes me feel nauseous. 

I don't think she's ever gotten anything for anyone for Christmas and by her age I was making framed photo collages, buying griddles for my mom and filling her stocking with her favorite stuff. 

Ugh. I wish she would get a shakabuku. 

She makes me sad. 

And I hate that I'm jealous. I'm crazy jealous. I hate her for it. I want to shake her for being this way and for making excuses as to why she can't push the envelope. 

I love her but I detest her and all of her shallow desires. I need to talk to her. I want to and I want her to listen to me but I already know she won't. I know she'll get mad for me saying anything. So I won't. I can't. Things are neutral between us. I just.... I have to show her a little perspective. She needs to know the real meaning of Christmas. It's not about getting presents. It's not about getting what you want. It's about seeing people happy, at least in my opinion. Giving things to my friends and family to see a joy you can't get during the year is my purpose for christmas. I don't know. I know shes 15 but still being on your phone ignoring family, just leave the room for christsakes. 

But that's my rant for now.