Don't read this one. It's not worth it.

I'm having a hard time.

I don't want to do this shit anymore. I don't want to worry about money and schoolwork and people and personifications and bullshit. I'm tired of the ultimate goal and the people I'm dealing with.

I feel very alone in this whole situation.

I'm tired of being quite so different and so fucking tired of all of this shit. I'm going to end up just like those people I feel bad for... The ones who can't seem to keep up with they're life and I'm turning into that exact person.

Why don't I get that fairytale prince and the parents to help me at every turn? Why do I have to face this godforsaken world all by myself?

"But you aren't alone! You've got [then they list off so-and-so and so-and-so]!"
Yeah, but name three people who would probably do anything for you at the drop of a hat?

Your mom.
Your dad.
Your significant other.

None of which I truly have.

My aunt's trying... My dad could basically give a shit. Significant other? Yeah now that's funny.

On the outside I play the happy go lucky, 'Hey I'll do that for you so that you're not so stressed!', 'Aww let me help YOU feel better about your life' girl.

Being Her is so goddamn exhausting that I can't seem to fix and keep up with my own goddamn life. Somehow I keep forgetting shit that's due.
Or classes, I can't seem to keep in my head what time my fucking classes are.
I'm losing my mind.

I feel like I'm just absolutely losing it and I'm just going to end up failing.
My goal at the moment is to not have a breakdown everyday.

Oh wait, too late- already had one today.

My ...friends? Yeah I can't seem to find them. So like I said, who do I have to rely on?
Dude, beats me.



I've had a lot of people be like "Dude, wtf?" in reference to my attitude.
Honestly I don't know "double-u tee eff". So quit fucking asking.

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I JUST WANT TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
I don't want Justin and his happy little unreality either.
I don't want Allison's hellhole of a job and half existence either.
I want Mike to stop fucking complaining to me about that "girl" he's obsessed with, yet turn to me and claim to want me. 
I JUST WANT THIS ALL TO STOP.
I could give a fuck about exams. Or school. Or class.
But I can't go home.
Whatever, whereever that is anymore.
Home isn't home.
It's not.
My friends aren't friends. They're freeloaders. At least the last couple have been... Freeloaders of my emotions, money, home and speaking of home- I hate the home I'm in now. MOTHERfucker. My roommate is about as welcoming and friendly as her poor angry hedgehog.
I feel like I tresspass in my own "home". I've dug myself into this godforsaken hole so hard that I can't see daylight anymore. What the hell is wrong with me.
Someone please help me..
I'm done.