Sunshine makes you Grow

It was amazing out today.
ABSOLUTELY.

What's interesting is that I learned a lot about myself today with the help of my friend. She told me how the world honestly looks at me and that good god, I need to stop some of my tendencies.
And yes, sometimes I have screwed up but That isn't the end of the world. It isn't my job to be perfect all the time. Not that I am in the slightest, but at least I can stop trying so hard.
This may be a turning point. I don't even know...
Or I could just make it a turning point and not give a shit as to what other people think. I'm tired of not just knowing the truth.

I'm ready to focus on real relationships, try to make them better and hold them close. Because the ones that just sit there, with no connection at all, while you nurse it and try to force it into existence because you feel that that connection is something that's almost required.... It's not healthy.
If you have to force a friendship, give it up. You shouldn't have to compromise happiness because you feel something is necessary. Just focus on those who matter to you. And that you know you matter to them. Otherwise, life's only going to be a shit-ton of disappointments and feelings getting hurt.

I think my whole "I'm GOING to be HAPPY NOW" system is ending, and the "Honestly, I understand and care, but.." attitude will reign.
And it's not that I'm not ALL OVER HAPPY, I just think that Emily needs a little self-reevaluation.

I think I'm going to be happy for me, because I need to. And if anyone wants a boost from me, I'm happy to give it. And I'm happy to share. Always.


The friends that I do have that I'm close to and that I know I can trust and that they can trust me, I cherish. I'd do ANYTHING for them. Anything.
And those kinds of friends, in the end will make you stronger.
So thank god for that and them.
My smiles are dedicated to those precious few. :)